Zaretsky's list of things academics should never do (hat-tip Rod Dreher)

At the CHE, with discussion, here:

1. Never give copies of your books to friends and family.
2. Never call students by their first names.
3. Never try to be cool.
4. Never lament the building of new football stadiums rather than new library wings.
5. Never become an administrator.
6. Never allow the Internet in the classroom.
7. Never teach a class outdoors.
8. Never refer to yourself by the title "Dr."—unless you are a real doctor.
9. Never confuse a syllabus with reality.
10. Never turn down a plum administrative position.

Rod Dreher is soliciting additions to the list. I would add: (11) Never become visibly angry in the classroom, and (12) Never try to influence your students' political beliefs.