Shortly after posting concerning my history and philosophy of biology resources page, I received a suggestion for an addition via email. The suggestion was welcome, but the way it was addressed was not: Mrs. Millstein.
As the correspondent pointed out to me after I questioned the way I was addressed, this can be a cultural difference that is difficult for people from other cultures to navigate. In that spirit, I offer the following suggested guidelines, especially given that this is not the first time I have been addressed this way, and no doubt it won't be the last. Not everyone may agree with my suggestions, but I think they are at least a safe way of addressing that is not likely to offend. I am suggesting them only for the U.S. because that is the culture I am most familiar with; they may or may not apply elsewhere.
Mrs.: Never. You probably don't know the woman's marital status and her marital status is probably not relevant to your correspondence.
Miss: Never, for the same reasons that one should not use "Mrs." ("Miss" indicates an unmarried woman; "Mrs." indicates a married woman).
Ms.: Never. Although better than Mrs., because it does not assume marital status, it is not the way that academics in the U.S. are usually addressed. (For the same reason, "Mr." is usually not appropriate for a man academic in the U.S.).
First (given) name: Usually OK, but for politeness sake, it's generally better only on the second and subsequent emails, coupled with the phrase "if I may".
Professor or Dr.: The safest course. As I note above, subsequent emails might use the first name. An added benefit of this approach is that you don't assume the person's gender; many names are ambiguous with respect to gender.
Of course, there are much larger issues with respect to the status of women in philosophy. But the small things do matter, and we may as well start by fixing them.
[RLM note: I later added an entry for "Miss," which I had inadvertently forgotten to mention in the original post].
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